When Is It Emotional Abuse? Differentiate between what is emotionally abusive, and what isn't We hear the term emotional abuse tossed about quite a bit these days. So, lest we make it a dumping ground for every negative emotional encounter, we must get clear on what is and is not emotional abuse. First, let’s talk about what emotional abuse is not. It is not emotionally abusive to break up with a partner. It is not emotionally abusive to argue with your partner. It is not emotionally abusive when someone reacts to what you have done with hurt. People react out of their own perceptions, so their reactions do not define your behavior. It is also not emotional abuse to speak one’s mind with blunt honesty. Perhaps the statement lacks tact, but it is not emotionally abusive. Again, just because someone reacts to what has been said with hurt does not mean that one has been emotionally abused. It is not emotionally ab...